For Aby (urgent)
I talked to my aunt, who blamed the whole thing on me being short-tempered (which I kind of am, I get mad when I’m insulted the way my cousin did). I kept reminding her why, and she denied that ever happened. She says that the attitude towards me is just how my cousin is, but tells me I need to see a doctor.
I said I want my own apartment, and she says we can look for apartments. I’ve had enough of my family here. You said my aunt should set a good example for them. Makes them seem like kids, the one who brags about being a bitch is 26, I’m 19, I’m the freaking adult here -.- She openly said she’s immature, and I’m like the devil’s pawn to them.
And even the slightest bit of anger from me is rudeness, but anything from her is just her being herself #FamilyLogic
This is turning into a venting session :/ The reason I marked this as urgent is because I still have my mood swings, There are times when I feel fine and others where I wanna jump off a building :( Please talk me out of that :’( I need people who care, and this blog is all I have :’(
And that’s the other thing. I feel bad how it’s come to the point that I’m leaving my own family. Where my parents come from, the family is very very important and I feel bad being on such bad terms with some of them :( I get that moving out is healthy, but I also fear isolation :/ *sigh* why do I exist? :’( Please talk me out of ending my life :’(
Hi! Sorry for the sort of late response. I had school today!
I think moving out is the best thing you could do, please take that chance. They are making excuses for everything now and it shouldn’t be this way. I understand how you feel for leaving your family, I really do. But it’s not forever. Maybe you can move out for a few months and then come back when everything calms down and try a fresh new start.
Don’t fear isolation, sometimes we just need to recharge by ourselves. In the company of ourselves with nobody around.
Take a deep breath and don’t over think the situation.
This is fixable, this is not permanent. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You still love your parents, right? Think if how they would feel if you were to commit suicide. I don’t remember if you told me that they passed away or living in another country? I’m sorry, I forgot! Either way, they wouldn’t like it. That building you want to jump from? It’s not going to help. You’re going to cause great grief in the family. Imagine if one day you were to go visit your favorite family member and you find them dead. How would you react? That’s exactly how they would feel. Take time for yourself, dear. Please. Just relax and do what you love, move out for a few months and come back to try and fix things. Your moodswings will go away slowly, you just need to escape from the drama. It’s only a bad moment, not a bad life.
I’ve tried to end my life before, sometimes when I’m answering questions I’m having suicidal thoughts. But I’m here today because my problem that I had a few days ago? It’s gone. If I were to commit suicide, I wouldn’t be able to spend time with my family today.
Please hang in there, I’m always here to talk. If you want to talk to me personally HERE is my blog. I’m always on it. If not, you can always send messages here <3